Poodle in the snow

Baby (doesn't) Love Disco

We finally got to Baby Loves Disco (http://www.babylovesdisco.com/locations/portland/) last Sunday. It was funny for mama (vodka and cranberry juice) but Miss O was a little wary of the whole thing...the loud music, the disco ball, all those kids.

I am glad now that I didn't take her when she was younger. I knew my baby well enough to know that it would be overwhelming for her gentle personality and I am glad that I listened to my instincts. But then again, it really wasn't that big of a deal. I don't think she is likely to have life-long PTSD repercusions.

We will definitely go again...but when O is a bit older.

Chlamydia

True Story:

It all started when I managed to lose my birth control pills (see last post). In all the years of my birth control usage, I have never done that. So day two with no pills, I decide to call my primary care practitioner and leave a message asking that she phone a prescription in for me.

That morning while I was at the Children's Museum (CM), her medical assistant left a message for me to call her back basically saying that they would go ahead and phone that prescription in but she also needed to talk to me about one other thing.

I figured that one other thing was scheduling my annual exam -- when was the last one? Boy was I wrong.

So I get to Starbucks after the CM with my friend and our two babes. I finally reach the medical assistant and here is the conversation:

Her: "Your chlamydia test came back positive"
Me: "What?! But I have been married (and faithful) for eight years"

Her: "Then you should probably talk to your husband"

Me: Oh my God, okay"

Me to friend at Starbucks: "They say that I have chlamydia! What is chlamydia? What does that mean? How could I have gotten chlamydia? Larry cheated on me! That bastard!"

I call the medical assistant back to ask a couple more questions that I thought of after the shock of the news wore off. I leave message.

Back at home, I Google "Chlamydia": Women are routinely tested for chlamydia in pregnancy as they can pass it to their unborn babies. Larry gave me AND my baby chlamydia! Double-bastard!

I begin searching through my medical records. I find that I tested negative for chlamydia in pregnancy. That means he cheated on me sometime while I was pregnant OR had a newborn baby. Triple-bastard!

Medical Assistant returns my call.

Me: "How long could this have been dormant for?" (ie Is there any reason that I should not castrate my husband as soon as walks in the door this evening?)

Her: "It is possible that it was dormant for that long but very, very unlikely" (ie Go ahead with castration plans)

Me: "When was I tested for this? I can't even remember when my last annual exam was"

Her: "Hold on a sec while I check your medical record again"

On hold. Me panicking: I am going to be a single mother. What about the finances? What about our trip planned to Mt Hood? How do I tell Odessa about this when she is older? Who will get the cat? Who wants the cat? Should I throw all of Larry's belongings into the front yard?

Her: "Okay, take a deep breath"

Me: "What the hell are you going to tell me now, I have HIV?"

Her: "We got your medical records mixed up with another Megan and you are not the one who tested for chlamydia. We are so sorry about all of this"

One hour and two xanax later...

Me (to Larry): "Well, I almost divorced you today..."

Diagnosis: Parent Brain

Monday:
Me:"Lar, have you seen my wallet?"
Lar: "No mam"

An hour later...

Me: I found my wallet in the weirest spot -- in a bowl on top of the refrigerator! How strange that I would put it up there seeing that I can't even reach" (sarcasm)
Lar: Oops.

Tuesday:
Me: "Lar, have you seen the brown sugar?"
Lar: "No mam...but maybe you should check on top of the refrigerator just in case"
Me: "Already did. No luck this time"

Wednesday:
Me: "Lar, have you seen my birth control pills?"
Lar: "No mam"
Me: "Or my brain? I believe that I lost it sometime in July of 06"

Sleeping Like a Baby

Odessa was having a hard time falling asleep last night -- I guess that she takes after her mama :) She seemed very tired (ie cranky) at about 7:30 p.m. so we went to the bedroom lay down. Then she nursed and nursed and nursed (and nursed). Finally I said "Na-nas go night-night" and rolled over. She rolled around for a bit trying to get comfortable. The comfortable spot she chose was with her head resting on my back. After a few minutes, that baby head started to feel very heavy and yet I didn't want to chance waking her up and her wanting to nurse again. Luckily she rolled over again not long after that.

Just a few months ago, I never would have believed that the "na-nas go night-night" bit would ever actually work, but low and behold, they start to really understand SO much!

Dreaming of Summer

Insomnia...Again

So I have been suffering from various forms of insomnia ever since I had big life change about 1 1/2 years ago (can you guess what that was?:) This is day three and I am seriously considering calling my mh provider. The first problem is that it will take me FOREVER to fall asleep. Once asleep it feels like I really didn't get any sleep at all -- you know when you feel like you were just on the edge of sleep for hours. And then finally around 2:00 a.m. I wake up with tons of anxiety (closest thing that I can relate to an anxiety attack) and the only thing I can think of to do is to get up, journal (or blog) and take some sleep-inducing remedies. It seems like this happens intermittently and then goes away on its own after some time. But that "sometime" feels really long when you have to get up to take care of a baby and get to work and get all that other life stuff done. I really can't think of causes -- two nights ago I had two beers? and Odessa is getting her molars in which makes her not the happiest puppy on the block. Hopefully I will be well-rested and have an optimistic blog soon.

Computer Geek in Training

I left Odessa for the evening with her daddy. When I came back, they were sitting side-by-side at the kitchen table. Larry had his laptop open in front of him and Odessa was working with her own keyboard.

Door to Nowhere

Cape Meares

So we are not into buying a lot of stuff for Christmas. I loved it as a kid, but now as an adult living in middle-class America, I just don't really get it. It isn't that I am shunning commercialism either. It is more practical than that. There is really nothing that we want really badly and that we wouldn't just purchase ourselves. Yes, I could buy Larry a new sweater. Or he could just buy one himself.

Anyway, my point it this. We went to Cape Meares for the Christmas holiday prefering going to someplace over getting things that we really do not need or care about. We had a really good time and were bored out of our minds all at the same time. It was nice to have the days "off" and have nothing that we had to do.

We hope to go back sometime in the Summer. I think it will be great when the weather is warmer and we can play on the beach and eat dinner on the deck.

Odessa, 17 months old

17 months old:

I swear that I fall more in love with you every day. The experience of having a child and watching her grow is like no other and one that I am so grateful to be able to have. The love that I have for you is so different from any other love: it is immeasurable.

You are almost 1 1/2 years-old. Today I went through the tub of your teeny, tiny baby clothes making decisions on what to keep and what to give away. I cannot believe that you ever fit into some of those little outfits. I miss your tiny babyhood but love the toddler you so much! I look forward to every day that we have together.

So, I think that being 17 months old is very much about making messes. I try to be patient and let you explore but my "type A" personality tends to get in the way. My rule of thumb is any mess is okay as long as it isn't a food mess. Those are just too hard to clean-up.

Gathering also seems to be big right now. You will spend lots of time gathering items that are similar and putting them into a little pile (paper bits, silverware, soda cans etc). When you realize that I am watching you, you roll your eyes or make a cheesy grin and turn around the other direction. I think the toys that you play with the most are Q-tips, cotton balls, decks of cards, and band aids.

Your ability and interest in entertaining yourself has increased exponentially recently. You will spend twenty minutes or more looking through books, magazines, or a deck of cards. Right now your favorite books are "Grumpy Bird" and the Corduroy lift-a-flap books. We read to you every night but it seems that you prefer to "read" to us. Which is adorable.

Now I am also really noticing how you imitate everything! It is so cute to see how you carry around the cell phone to your ear with a purse on your shoulder or watching you "feed" your stuffed animals. This morning you were pretending to drink out of an empty cup, complete wit the "mmm...augh" sound effects. Other imitations: folding laundry, opening garbage bags, wrapping presents, putting away dishes, making silly faces, eye rolling, nose-blowing... The list could go on and on.

So many words! The latest one is "up". Early this morning we were sleeping in bed and you tugged on my shirt and said "up" because you wanted it out of your way so that you could nurse. You also say "Golla!" a lot and I am really not sure what it means. "Ma golla!" means "nurse me". Another favorite is "hot". You say it all the time. Many times in context and some others not. You will also put two words together which is unusual for your young age. You will also repeat almost any word that we ask you to. I got you to say "I love you" this month but it sounded more like "I la". Good enough for me.

Sleep. What new parent doesn't obsess over it or the lack of it? I did. I read all the books but never followed the advice and then worried that you would never be able to fall asleep on your own, that I was harming you for life. Now, at seventeen months old, many nights go by that you fall asleep on your own and don't wake to nurse until early morning. Wow. I really never thought I would ever see the day when that would happen. This gives me courage to follow my parenting instincts.

I don't know quite how to end this post. I feel that I need to say something profound and yet I don't know what. I guess that a simple "I La" with have to suffice.

Winter Berries

Trippin on cough meds

The cold/flu has invaded the Crutchfield household. Larry had it first and he seems to have recovered at this point. But last weekend I got a sore throat and cough. For the first few days, I felt really good except for a sore throat and laryngitis. Mostly it was problematic at night when the cough would continually wake me and Odessa up. I played musical beds switching between the couch and my bed and back again.

Then I got worse...I don't know what happened. Suddenly I just felt like total crap all the time. Pressure in the head, sore throat, sore chest from coughing, the works. I bought an over the counter cough medicine at Target. Nothing spectacular. I took it that night and it seemed to help a little, maybe.

The end of this boring story is coming up. So today we went out for breakfast (our weekend routine) and back home for a nice, long nap. When I woke, I decided to run some errands with Odessa. So I took some of my over-the-counter cough med having not eaten lunch. I really didn't think anything of it. Then the Alice In Wonderland tripping began... Dizziness, out-of-body sensation, feeling as though I can't process incoming information and as if my mind is three steps behind my body, weird dream-like feeling, unable to see clearly or process what I was seeing. I felt kind of drunk but without being relaxed. Instead I felt panicked and scared and worried that I was lapsing into a psychosis. You read about that. One day a happy person and wife and mom, and then next she is seeing mice running through the walls locked up in a padded room. So feeling as though I may be on the brink of a psychotic break, I am trying to think of what I should tell my husband that I won't be able to tell him later? But my thinking is so cloudy and roller-coaster like that I can't even think of what I should say. Panic.

Awful scary not fun. Phew I think it is almost over. But if not, at least I wrote it down and people may be able to piece together what happened before I totally lost it. That is, if anyone reads this which I know that my family is terrible about doing. When I was a kid, I couldn't get them to read my weekly publication the "Donesley Chronicle" so it really is no surprise.

Bite "O" Apple

Odessa bit into this apple and it is the cutest, tiny apple bite that we have ever seen. Thank goodness I had my camera on me so that I could preserve the memory forever ;)

Yes, we are first-time-crazy-about-our-baby parents. I wonder if that could be an official diagnosis. Should we update the DSM?

Breastfeeding & the Workplace in Oregon

Last week, Oregon's Senate passed HB 2372. The law requires most employers to provide two 30-minute unpaid rest periods for pumping during an 8-hour work day. Employers are also required to provide a private location for the employee to express milk. The law does not cover employers with fewer than 25 employees, and it exempts employers if the requirements pose an “undue hardship” in light of the size, financial resources, nature or structure of the employer’s business. This new law comes with a stiff penalty for violations: the Oregon Commissioner of the Bureau of Labor and Industries may assess a civil penalty of up to $1,000 for willful violations of the law.

(from http://urbanmamas.typepad.com//activistas/breastfeeding/index.html, December 5, 2007)

Christmas Photos

I took Odessa in to JCPenney last month to get some "professional" photos of her taken in her holiday dress (okay one of her many holiday dresses).

Photo shoots were a lot easier back before she could walk! For one, she can now just get up and walk away when she decides that she is disinterested in what the photographer and I are doing. Secondly, all those "tricks" that used to work to make her smile, now have no effect at all. She will just roll her eyes at me.

Hurricane Odessa

Month 16 seems to be all about making "messes". Some days I am more patient with the unending clutter, others not so much.

Rite of Passage: New Seasons Car Cart

Odessa rode in the "car" shopping cart at New Seasons for the 1st time. At first, she looked at me like I was abandoning her under a bridge. But then I showed her how to "beep" the car horn and she was hooked.

Also you can see her very cute scarf in the photo.

Forestry Museum, November 2007

Artichoke

Odessa loves artichokes. Unfortunately it is very time consuming to pick the pieces off that she can eat. She doesn't get the "scrape against your teeth" move quite yet. So there is a lot of whining for more, more!