Just an Update

It is 3:39 a.m. and I am up (AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN) with insomnia. This is something that I will address AGAIN at my next mental health appointment. I feel a little lost about the whole thing because, it feels, I have complained so many times, tried so many options, all to no avail. Maybe this is something that I just need to live with and realize that it could be so much worse.

My last post about vacuuming was so utterly lame. Sometimes I do just have these thoughts and questions though and wonder what others think.

Larry has been in Idaho visiting his folks for a long weekend so I have been a single-mom. Not easy at all but I think that I have fared fairly well. And, don't tell Larry this, but sometimes getting into the routine of just Odessa and I is a lot simpler than having the three of us to worry about. I even managed to take Odessa to the zoo yesterday which she loved this time more than any time before. Her favorite exhibits were the Sea Lions ("wow!"), the giant fish ("wow shish!") and, by far, the monkeys ("monkey! look another monkey!"). When we went and saw the elephants, she just kept asking for the monkeys again. That being said, I will be happy to have my hubby home. It does complete our family unit.

I want another baby. Maybe. Or some days. It is just the decision whether it is a good/right idea or not. I am just not sure that I am really the best person for the job. My depression/anxiety is not always/often in control and I worry that isn't fair to current and/or future offspring. I am working on that aspect as I have been re-adjusting all my meds rather drastically lately trying to find something that really, truly works for me. My provider doesn't think that I have ever felt un-depressed and that is why it is such a struggle. I am now going back to the one med that I felt actually, truly helped and we will see where that leads. I am hopeful. After that I may try electro-schock :)

Last night we were watching the divers on the Olympics. O was so cute! As the divers would position themselves at the end of the spring-board she would shout out "Go! Jump!" and then she would jump herself (and then do a little dance) as the athletes would leap into the air and plunge into the water. You should see her stuff when we are watching the gymnasts!

Swim lessons are over. We had a good, albeit tiring, two weeks. Odessa is super comfortable in the water and can do many 'tricks' including kicking, arm reaching, monkey-crawl, jumping in (her personal favorite) and entering and exiting the pool semi-correctly. I am considering some more classes for the fall but I would also like to look into tumbling as she is really into that right now too.