Well, now I am worried that our never-ending cold has turned into something else. Odessa has been running a fever since yesterday at 4 p.m. ish. From when I have checked, it has gotten up to 101.6. Tylenol has been helping. I am going to call the pediatrician in the morning.
We have plans to fly out to California this weekend so I am hoping that it nothing serious and that she will be all better by then. I had thought that the never ending runny nose was to do with teething as she is getting some serious teeth in there but who knows.
In other news, I have spend most of my weekend going through a study protocol and reading all about "Transtheoretical Model of Change". I have a job interview tomorrow -- no today -- it is 530 am! It has been fun because I feel kind of like a student again and have been using my brain in another way.
And, yesterday morning I carelessly tinted my eyebrows and now they are too dark (think Groucho Marx) and I have a smear of brown dye on my forehead. Geez. Luckily I have been scrubbing with nail polish remover (which I am sure is GREAT for one's skin) and it has faded considerably.
We are on a budget. I am trying really hard but it is REALLY hard. I just need to start fresh tomorrow and re-evaluate my plan so that I can gain motivation and perspective.
Hey, sometimes this adult life just sucks, huh?
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Found on Ebay: Very Sexy Shoes
ALDO Womens Black Fabric Wedges Shoes 38 EUR 7 US SEXY!
Really? They are? Well then, my orthopedic clogs must be on fire!
Really? They are? Well then, my orthopedic clogs must be on fire!
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Blogger.com Frustration II
Now all the lists and photos and things that use to be on the left hand side of my blog are at the bottom -- after all the posts! When I go into edit the layout, it doesn't appear as though anything has changed.
Happy 35th Anniversary to My Parents
35 years living with same person -- all the struggles, all the ups and downs. 33 years of raising children. No wonder they are nuts. Congrats to them for sticking it out and never letting go of either side of the rope.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Light at the end of the tunnel
I think we may have turned a corner with Odessa's sleep...
First of all, it just is getting better and better the closer that she gets to two. The first year was by far the most difficult.
A couple months ago, anyone putting Odessa down to sleep (other than me) would have to endure crying -- and a lot of it. I would have to be really over my limit before I could let that happen. And the majority of times, my maternal instinct got the better of me and I went in to snuggle her into sleep peacefully.
Up until two nights ago, here was the ritual: snack, diaper and pajamas, read stories and then nana-milk. After ten minutes or so of nursing, I detach myself and she will fuss a little, work on getting comfy and fall asleep. During that 30-60 minutes of waiting for her to fall asleep, I would lie there frustrated that this is my opportunity for me time and it won't happen.*
After an hour passes and she finally is asleep, I can sneak out but at that point it is getting late for me and I am frustrated that I could have been reading or writing an hour ago. Plus most nights I take benedryl to help me fall asleep and it takes at-least one hour to kick in. So if I took it before putting O to bed, then I would be too sleepy to get up and get any me time. And if I wait till she is asleep, I am likely not to fall asleep until really late at night.**
After that very long introduction, here is the point: Now after the bedtime routine which includes nana-milk for ten minutes or so, Odessa is able to snuggle up to Larry and fall fast asleep. A few whimpers but nothing more than I would get by being there too. We have done that the last two nights and it is a miracle for me!!! I can get up and do some of the things that I have been wanting to. Sigh of relief.
AND THEN, this afternoon Odessa was able to fall asleep with Larry for her afternoon nap. That has never happened before this easily. It would usually require tears and rocking. Now she just snuggles up and enters dream-land (and without mama-milk first). ***
I really think this is about her being developmentally ready for that stage. This would not have worked even a couple months ago.
*If you are wondering why can't I get out of bed while she is still awake. The answer is I don't know, I have tried, and it involved a lot of sobbing on her part and mine. She just doesn't want to be alone while falling asleep. We have had a family bed for her whole life, just lying in bed and going to sleep while others are not with her is just foreign. [It is possible at some point in the near future, this is something that I am going to work on. But for now I am going to trust my gut that she is just not ready for that leap yet. Who knows what the next few months will bring.]
**Which would mean that I would miss quite a few solid hours of sleep which is pretty necessary as O will wake me up between 1 and 5 times a night. Secondly, I am not a night-owl, even before baby I would in bed at 9 p.m.
***Now for my pessimism -- napping with baby in the afternoon is my favorite thing and today I am missing it. But on the bright side, it is good to know that I have the option.
First of all, it just is getting better and better the closer that she gets to two. The first year was by far the most difficult.
A couple months ago, anyone putting Odessa down to sleep (other than me) would have to endure crying -- and a lot of it. I would have to be really over my limit before I could let that happen. And the majority of times, my maternal instinct got the better of me and I went in to snuggle her into sleep peacefully.
Up until two nights ago, here was the ritual: snack, diaper and pajamas, read stories and then nana-milk. After ten minutes or so of nursing, I detach myself and she will fuss a little, work on getting comfy and fall asleep. During that 30-60 minutes of waiting for her to fall asleep, I would lie there frustrated that this is my opportunity for me time and it won't happen.*
After an hour passes and she finally is asleep, I can sneak out but at that point it is getting late for me and I am frustrated that I could have been reading or writing an hour ago. Plus most nights I take benedryl to help me fall asleep and it takes at-least one hour to kick in. So if I took it before putting O to bed, then I would be too sleepy to get up and get any me time. And if I wait till she is asleep, I am likely not to fall asleep until really late at night.**
After that very long introduction, here is the point: Now after the bedtime routine which includes nana-milk for ten minutes or so, Odessa is able to snuggle up to Larry and fall fast asleep. A few whimpers but nothing more than I would get by being there too. We have done that the last two nights and it is a miracle for me!!! I can get up and do some of the things that I have been wanting to. Sigh of relief.
AND THEN, this afternoon Odessa was able to fall asleep with Larry for her afternoon nap. That has never happened before this easily. It would usually require tears and rocking. Now she just snuggles up and enters dream-land (and without mama-milk first). ***
I really think this is about her being developmentally ready for that stage. This would not have worked even a couple months ago.
*If you are wondering why can't I get out of bed while she is still awake. The answer is I don't know, I have tried, and it involved a lot of sobbing on her part and mine. She just doesn't want to be alone while falling asleep. We have had a family bed for her whole life, just lying in bed and going to sleep while others are not with her is just foreign. [It is possible at some point in the near future, this is something that I am going to work on. But for now I am going to trust my gut that she is just not ready for that leap yet. Who knows what the next few months will bring.]
**Which would mean that I would miss quite a few solid hours of sleep which is pretty necessary as O will wake me up between 1 and 5 times a night. Secondly, I am not a night-owl, even before baby I would in bed at 9 p.m.
***Now for my pessimism -- napping with baby in the afternoon is my favorite thing and today I am missing it. But on the bright side, it is good to know that I have the option.
Blogger.com Frustration
I am not all that super-savy when it comes to publishing a blog. I mean I have all the basics down, and when I want to try something 'fancy' (and actually have the energy to do so) I can usually figure it out.But here is the problem, I write my posts and they look great. Then I publish them and the blank lines in between the paragraphs dissapear...but not all of them. I have even edited in html and sometimes that works but it is inconsistent. What am I doing wrong? Or is blogger playing Jedi mind tricks on me?
If anyone knows of what I am doing wrong, please let me know...
Friday, April 18, 2008
Odessa, 21 Months
Oh baby. I love you so much. It isn't until you are a parent that you can understand the depths of love that one can have for their children.
Life with you is getting to be really fun! The newborn phase, with your endless crying, was tormenting. As an infant, I realized how my personality doesn't match well with the needs of a young baby. I need alone time. I write and read. This is how I maintain any semblance of a emotional equilibrium. But now you enjoy a little more independence, which gives me some of the time that I "need". You also love to be on the go! I can tell that you get bored at home by mid-morning. So every day that we are home we go out and play and have fun together. Sometimes we get out just to run errands -- grocery store, bank etc. Other days we enjoy peaceful time at the library and the park. And some days I have a lot of energy and we will go to the Children's Museum or the community center indoor gym -- Odessa-centric places like that.
You are VERY sociable. You love to go around restaurants and say "Hi" to everyone at their tables. Much to the chagrin of the staff. At school, they call you their "greeter" because you will stand at the gated doorway and greet everyone who goes by. When you see other kids playing, you don't hesitate to go right over and join in. I have to watch you carefully, because you will follow kids anywhere. At a Le Leche League meeting the other day, you went around to each of the moms to sit on their laps -- and they were complete strangers. I am so happy that you are so confident and comfortable around people. I hope that trait continues.
You have been teething for what seems like forever. But these past two months all that effort paid off and you have gotten approximately 6 molars. I say "approximately" because it is really hard to get a good look in your mouth without getting bitten. BUT, a couple of weeks ago we had a couple really rough nights where we only got a few hours of shut-eye. That was tough but it all seems to be going better now (knock on wood).
Schedule. Schmedule. It used to be so random and now your patterns are quite consistent. Which is good for me because I need routines. You are an early riser. I am really not sure how to change that. So we get up at 5:30 most mornings. Your nap time is around 12 p.m. depending on how busy we are. If I nap with you (and I usually do, one of my all-time favorite parts of the day) you will often sleep for 2-3 hours. It is such a nice reprieve in the middle of the day. You go to bed around 9:30 p.m. I am trying to make that earlier in the evening but I am not very good at it. 1) I wonder if you go to bed at 7:30 or 8:00 if you will still wake up at 5:30 a.m. Maybe you would and that would be good for you and you need more sleep. Or maybe not. 2) It is hard for me to want to stop all the evening activities to start our bedtime routine. We are generally hanging out with Daddy or Grandma or Auntie Kiki. 3) By the time our bedtime routine is over and I nurse you before sleep, I am ready to go to bed but 7:30 just is too early for me. So I tend to keep you up until I am more ready for sleep.
*After a couple nights of sleep experimentation, I came to the conclusion that you will not be ready for sleep at any point before 8:00 p.m. I think that you need about 10 hours a night (8 ish till 6 ish in the morning). So if we are reading bedtime stories at 7:45 p.m., then we are doing really well. And if you fall asleep rather quickly, I can still have 1-2 hours of "me" time. Sadly, "me" time = laundry and catching up on emails. But I am the neurotic one so that is my problem, not yours.
You say SO many words now! I don't even think I can list them all if I wanted to. You are quite confident about shouting "no!" and "help please". Recently we discovered that you can say "butterfly". You just talk all the time and it is so nice to be able to communicate with my little dictator. And you understand even more! When we get home, you will often run through the front door and then spin around quickly trying to escape again ("wait...I just remembered -- I don't want to be home"). Sometimes I am not quick enough and then I have to either chase after you or bribe you to come back in. The other day the I said "come in for cookie!" and you spun right back around again! Already I am black-mailing my child for dessert.
Another funny thing that involves dessert is that whenever we say "Kiki" (as in Auntie Kiki) you look towards the kitchen and ask "cookie?". V. cute.
I didn't really have a plan, but I always imagined that you would likely self-wean. But something changed in the past couple of months. I don't even want to us to wean, just to nurse less. Some days I am totally fine with your being my Velcro-baby who nurses frequently, but there are some days that I just am irritated by so much nursing. So we are working on nursing less. You don't like it very much and sometimes I feel bad because you do love your "na-nas" so much.
Your hair. I think we are at the point where we should address your hair. For awhile there I was concerned that a "good hair day" for you meant that it didn't look like you had been recently electrocuted. But now your "wisps" have developed into very cute ringlets! Grandma bought you a special shampoo for babies with curly hair and it seems to be helping quite a bit. I also now know that I need to wet your hair and comb it out each morning to get your ringlets back into shape.
I have been thinking a lot about your birth recently. I think it is because I am starting to think about giving you a sibling. Or not. Its a tough decision and one that we will cover at a later juncture. For you, we had planned an all-natural, water birth. Apparently, this plan was in contradiction to your own plan for exiting the womb or you are terrible at reading maps. Being the dramatic girl that you are (or just a terrible map-reader), you decided to attempt to get out sunny-side up and "brow presentation" which means that you had your neck tilted backwards. Well, guess what, that didn't work for my pelvis. We ended up in the hospital with a c-section. I was just so happy to have a beautiful, healthy baby that I didn't really figure out what had "gone wrong". But now considering being pregnant again, I wanted to know what happened and if I wimped out or really needed the c-section. After reading my medical records and research on the Internet, it is pretty clear that a baby can almost certainly not be born in the position in which you chose.
Of course, there is always room for doubt and so I am still thinking about "why" you ended up in that position -- what could I have done to change prevent/change that? You know what, I guess that I will never know. But I do know this: however in life your plans may contradict mine, I love you very, very much.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Saturday Evening Picnic
This weekend the weather could not have been any more beautiful! And I am happy to say that we took full advantage of it. We went to the Saturday Market and then had our dinner at the park, picnic style. Odessa LOVES collecting all the flowers (dandelions) and bringing them to mom and dad.On Sunday we ate breakfast at one of our favorite breakfast places and then we went to over to a friends for a bbq dinner.
Very good weekend.
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
Wednesday Evening
Tonight was one of those nights. Set up: It was a long day so we are all tired.
I attempted to put Odessa to bed twice. The first time at 7:30 p.m. (early for us but she was acting tired). After a couple minutes of snuggling and na-nas, Odessa got up and was jumping/dancing on the bed. Then she climbed off the bed and left the room. It is so strange to have a young, helpless (seemingly) infant one minute and what seems like the next minute, that same helpless infant is deciding by herself to get off the bed and leave the bedroom in search of cookies.
Attempt number two was at 8:30 p.m. and I was SURE that she was good and tired. In the dark room, I can sense that she is moving about. I turn on the light, and yep, she had gotten off the bed again and was carrying around my tennis shoe. I do not know how she sees in the dark like that. Possibility #1) better eyesight than moi; Possibility #2) she has cat DNA.
I am always torn between being the stern mom and bringing her back to bed or just letting her play until she is truly ready to sleep. I usually just start reading and listen for loud crashes coming from the living room. But, then I am lying there in bed reading about how we have a public health crisis: a generation of "sleep-deprived" children. That thought spins into my envisioning Odessa's poor, sleep-deprived future. The true public health crisis? Sleep deprived mamas.
The end of the story? Larry puts Odessa on his chest and she falls asleep immediately while I am up with insomnia worrying about her sleep-deprivation. Big sigh.
I attempted to put Odessa to bed twice. The first time at 7:30 p.m. (early for us but she was acting tired). After a couple minutes of snuggling and na-nas, Odessa got up and was jumping/dancing on the bed. Then she climbed off the bed and left the room. It is so strange to have a young, helpless (seemingly) infant one minute and what seems like the next minute, that same helpless infant is deciding by herself to get off the bed and leave the bedroom in search of cookies.
Attempt number two was at 8:30 p.m. and I was SURE that she was good and tired. In the dark room, I can sense that she is moving about. I turn on the light, and yep, she had gotten off the bed again and was carrying around my tennis shoe. I do not know how she sees in the dark like that. Possibility #1) better eyesight than moi; Possibility #2) she has cat DNA.
I am always torn between being the stern mom and bringing her back to bed or just letting her play until she is truly ready to sleep. I usually just start reading and listen for loud crashes coming from the living room. But, then I am lying there in bed reading about how we have a public health crisis: a generation of "sleep-deprived" children. That thought spins into my envisioning Odessa's poor, sleep-deprived future. The true public health crisis? Sleep deprived mamas.
The end of the story? Larry puts Odessa on his chest and she falls asleep immediately while I am up with insomnia worrying about her sleep-deprivation. Big sigh.
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
Passing Judgment at Bedtime
Ebay Addiction
I am coming to the conclusion that I may have an Ebay addiction, but look at these items I got for 99 cents each... Of course, once you add shipping to that it isn't quite as awesome of a deal but that's a minor detail that I say we forget.
Thursday, April 03, 2008
Inobservant
So I never remember to look at the far right side of people's blogs to see their lists and stuff. I just changed all of mine and wanted to let anyone know who may be interested in taking a look. I know, real exciting stuff :)
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Windows... Another place to draw
Odessa has graced us with her artistic abilty by covering many surfaces with her artwork. Why should the windows be left out?Lost: One immune system ran away to have better times (reward if found)
I can't believe that I am sick again. My immune system truly must be MIA. I wonder if at-least part of the reasons is Odessa's entrance into "school" although she seems to be the healthiest of us all.
Odessa and I fell asleep at around 9 p.m. ish. Around midnight I woke up coughing and couldn't stop. So I came out to the kitchen and took cough meds and went back to bed. An hour later, I am coughing compulsively which, in turn wakes Odessa up. I tried to do the whole sitting up sleeping thing but it wasn't really helpful. It is time to take out the big guns. At that point I decided that I had no choice but to take the cough med w/ narcotic that I reserve for emergencies. I can't sleep. I am waking Odessa up. And she will likely be up for the day in, like, three hours.
So here is the warning -- I am blogging on narcotics again. I am just trying to give them some time to kick in so that I can crawl back into bed. Which sounds SO NICE. So hopefully I don't say anything stupid or regrettable in my narcotic haze.
My thought at the moment, is that maybe Grandma will be interested in a few qualiy hours with O in the morning so that I can get a few extra hours of shut-eye. Larry is in Canada for the weekend, otherwise it would be all on him. And to add the cherry on top, maybe Grandpa could pick up some donuts or starbucks or something. I think that I am going to need it!
Odessa and I fell asleep at around 9 p.m. ish. Around midnight I woke up coughing and couldn't stop. So I came out to the kitchen and took cough meds and went back to bed. An hour later, I am coughing compulsively which, in turn wakes Odessa up. I tried to do the whole sitting up sleeping thing but it wasn't really helpful. It is time to take out the big guns. At that point I decided that I had no choice but to take the cough med w/ narcotic that I reserve for emergencies. I can't sleep. I am waking Odessa up. And she will likely be up for the day in, like, three hours.
So here is the warning -- I am blogging on narcotics again. I am just trying to give them some time to kick in so that I can crawl back into bed. Which sounds SO NICE. So hopefully I don't say anything stupid or regrettable in my narcotic haze.
My thought at the moment, is that maybe Grandma will be interested in a few qualiy hours with O in the morning so that I can get a few extra hours of shut-eye. Larry is in Canada for the weekend, otherwise it would be all on him. And to add the cherry on top, maybe Grandpa could pick up some donuts or starbucks or something. I think that I am going to need it!
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Update on Playschool
Odessa started at daycare/playschool just over a month ago and I think after yesterday's experience it is time for an update. I can't believe it has only been that short of a time -- I guess we are all adjusting very well when I think of it that way!
Yesterday we walked into the classroom coatroom and I proceeded to remove Odessa's sweater and hat. One arm was still in the sweater as she was attempting to enter the classroom by herself, she seemed so excited to be there! Odessa walked right up to the other kids and joined in on the play. She looked up at me and smiled and that was it. No tears, no clinging, no scowl.
This made me so happy -- to know that she is happy there and that I don't need to worry (or at least worry less). I am so happy to see that you are such a confident kid.
Yesterday we walked into the classroom coatroom and I proceeded to remove Odessa's sweater and hat. One arm was still in the sweater as she was attempting to enter the classroom by herself, she seemed so excited to be there! Odessa walked right up to the other kids and joined in on the play. She looked up at me and smiled and that was it. No tears, no clinging, no scowl.
This made me so happy -- to know that she is happy there and that I don't need to worry (or at least worry less). I am so happy to see that you are such a confident kid.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
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