Odessa, 19 months old

Wow. Life with a toddler is complicated. So many things to do and people to be and never enough time to be or do it all.

Reading through last months post is so nice because I can clearly see all the things that have changed in the past 30 or so days. And when you realize how much has changed in such a short period of time, it is no wonder that I feel tired, and anxious, and irritable.

I think that you are entering the "pre potty-training" phase but it all really depends on what books you read. The latest research seems to recommend potty training later vs. earlier. It is that pendulum swinging back the other direction. With so many families requiring two incomes, and daycare centers and preschools requiring potty-trained babies, the push to train early was intense.

So my point is that you notify us every time that you have to go "poo-poo". It is so funny because I didn't know that you even knew that word until you begin saying it to me in context. Yesterday we bought you a potty chair. Then you opened the lid and proceeded to put both feet in the bowl to stand up on it. I don't think you get the idea just yet.

You watch cartoons almost every morning. I admit it.

You will also turn off the TV when you are done and walk away. It is as if you are saying, "mom, haven't you read the latest research which documents the negative aspects of too much TV watching?" My reply is: "Yes, darling, but have you read the latest research that documents if mamas don't get their morning cup of coffee they slip slowly into insanity?"

I have realized that the characters on Disney cartoons often ask their audience a lot of questions, like "Do you see the blue ball?" It is hilarious because you have begun to answer back by saying "No." Yesterday, Mickey Mouse asked "Are we smart enough to solve this problem?" in his high-pitched annoying voice and you quickly respond back with an adamant "No".

Pre-baby I was sure that I would never let my kids watch all the annoying tv that is on. Now that I have a baby, The Wiggles and Jo Jo's Circus have become my allies in Operation Keep Odessa Entertained.

Now I am worried that people will ready this and judge me as a bad mama. So, let me just say that I do spend a lot of time interacting and playing with the poodle and I only turn on the tv when I need to get something done (shower, vaccume, go the mall, whatever).

You are back into wanting mama and daddy (and whatever other adult is nearby) to read books to you. At night-time, your all time favorite lately is "Mama Mama" and "Who are you, Baby Kangaroo?" You also love all the Dr. Seaus books too.

When you just want to sleep, you will flip through all the books really fast while I attempt to speed read them to you and then throw them on the floor. Then you will say "na-na" or point to the light and say "hep (help)" so that we can lay down to nurse and fall asleep. What is really funny is that the bedtime book routine is for your enjoyment, not some task which must be accomplished before we can go to bed for the night. Those are tacked up to the refrigerator door.

5:30 a.m. seems to be your preferred wake up time. Could be a lot worse so I am not going to complain. Okay, just a little bit... We have nowhere that we need to be getting to at that hour. This is the time period in your life where you should sleep in -- you have many years to come of having to wake up before the sun to get to work or school or whatever.

Additionally, you sleep 8-10 hours in a row. I know a lot of babes that sleep 12 hours straight at night (or so their parents claim). Parents are able to put their babies to sleep and then have a couple of hours to themselves before needing to go to sleep -- I think that is how people with kids get anything done or resume their sex lives (so you can only blame yourself for not getting a sibling :) But because you aren't going to sleep for 12 hours, I feel like I need to go to sleep when you do in order to get 8 ish hours in a row. Hmm. I am sure that this will change with time or we will find another way to adapt.

While eating at at restaurants, we usually will put you in a booster chair in between daddy and I. A few weeks ago, we were at a restaraunt eating breakfast with some friends and their baby. After you got bored with eating and attempting to climb the wall, you proceeded to stuff packets of sugar down my sweater and into my bra. After you would get five or six in there, you would proceed to dig them all out. And then you would start this process over. It was really funny but also a little awkward.

Another huge change is that you recently started at playschool two days a week. I have mixed feelings about it. I really think that you have a fun time there and I am really happy to know that you are somewhere safe and fun while I go to work. When I start to feel down however, all these guilt feeling creep over me and I worry that it isn't your benefit. And the kicker is this, I will not ever know whether what I am doing is beneficial for you or not. I just have to make a decision and trust my instincts.

Time for me to go. I need to remove your breakfast from your high-chair tray before you let me know that are done eating. Very clearly. By throwing the food onto the floor.

I adore you. I hope that I am making all the right decisions for you, or at least most of them. Or at least the big ones.